Many people have told me how difficult they find it to visit friends and family who have Alzheimer’s and dementia.
By Marilyn Raichle
Alzheimer’s Reading Room
“We have nothing to talk about. I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s so sad – she is everything she never wanted to be.”
“She would hate this so much. This was her worst nightmare.”
So the pattern begins…
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Visiting makes you sad or uncomfortable, so you don’t visit.
Not visiting makes you feel guilty, so you put off visiting again. “She won’t remember it anyway,” you rationalize.
When you finally do visit, you are even more of a stranger and the visits more of an obligation and a relief when over (probably for both of you).
And so it goes…
“Doesn’t seeing how your mother has changed make you sad?” I am asked. (I’m pretty sure tears are…